Been Through So Much :)


I’ve been watching Naruto ALOT. I’ve had Naruto meets his father on repeat for the past hour! Naruto is the only character i’ve ever found who has the same life, feelings, and admirations as i do! His parents remind me of my Aunt and uncle! My real parents as i call them. I use to be picked on so much when i was younger because i was the only one in elementary who didnt have a mother. I use to be told i was worthless because even my own mom didnt want me! and i know im not much to talk about my past (well childhood) but i feel i need to! Ive keep this in for far to long and not many ppl if any really know! All of my childhood i couldnt even stand to watch a family commercial! I didnt enjoy the holidays not even christmas because i knew i didnt get to hug my mom or even be put to bed on christmas eve! Sure my father was there but to me he didnt exist. He’s always been in the shadows all my life and i wish i could really say otherwise but that would be lying! I am 19 years old and i feel like im 30. I’ve seen more then most 19 year olds. Sure lots of kids say that but come say hi to me one day you’ll see it right away. I smile through mostly everything except lately. I havent the energy to even try to smile. Sometimes depression gets the worst of me and i REALLY try to get out of it but it feels more like crawling! I’m so use to bad things happening to me that i cant even try to keep ahold of anything good anymore. I use to smile no matter what! My spirit was bright but now that im older and has been clouded to say. Im trying to clear it all up. Slowing i am getting there. Sure most people think they need to have someone else help them through it but life leasons are something you have to figure out by yourself. I know this far to well. I’ve never really had anyone up until i was 11 years old to help me. I was 3 when my mother dead (well to me anyway) i had to listen to countless people talk on and on about how sad my life was and how i must feel ALL THE TIME! They thought they were helping and all they were really doing was reminding me! Reminding me how alone i was. Many people wanted me to open up and i never did till about 16 and i do wish i didnt let all my walls down. I met a man. but that didnt last long as to why i wish i never left all my walls down! But as i like to say you live to learn! Ive got a professional Photography job and im also training as manager. So the next chapter in my life is going to begin. and who knows maybe ill met the one i’m to be with. I hope so that way i can have a family and know that i can be happy. Sure most teens my age want fame and money not me ive always wanted a family! Thats really my hearts desire! Well I’m going to go and shower. HUGS ❤ ❤ Taylor

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About sleepwalkingdreams

A green eyed daydreamer who is literally stuck in dream world. I'd much rather be asleep dreaming of what could be and one day will be. I've been through and seen alot in the short time I've been alive but I try my best to use my knowledge to better my life! View all posts by sleepwalkingdreams

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